An Emotionally Charged Woman
This blog post is the final in a three part series, flick back to read One Serendipitous Event and Decades of Inspiring Wellbeing to understand the whole story.
I have created a home of harmony and a vocation in wellbeing and my significant other was leaving this sacred space to immerse him in an industry of deadlines, multi-million dollar arguments and never happy board members.
I found I was becoming more conscious and my husband lost and unhappy. He was working ridiculous hours, suffering from insomnia, not eating properly and adopting unhealthy coping mechanisms. He would be absent in his presence, if you know what I mean. I could no longer have a conversation with him. There was this dichotomy in my home that my children were experiencing and it wasn’t serving anybody… I woke up one morning with alarm bells ringing because I realised I had married my Dad. And if you refer to the ‘Decades of Inspiring Wellbeing’ post you’ll understand why this is one huge church bell over my head.
So it was three years ago those alarm bells started and they were getting louder and louder. And then I made a decision. My Dad died of a stress related illness and there was no way I was going to let the father of my three children and the man I love suffer the same affliction – not on my watch! So what did I do? I woke him up and said “you will not die!” He looked at me like I was a weirdo and said nothing. Anyone else have a partner like me who does not listen? So what do I do? I do what all intelligent women do and get them from behind.
Would you like to know what I did?
THE LIFT UP
I pulled on my resources. What did I have already within me? There is the teacher, the knowledge of mindfulness, my passion for nature and my need to save my husband. With a huge dose of creativity I knew what I needed to do and I have been on a wild ride ever since.
This started with that seed from the lululemon winter solstice class. (read the post One Serendipitous Event). I gave Matt this seed and I told him he needed to plant it with a promise. At this point I had no idea what was going to happen though I was a desperate woman with a man to save. And then for twelve weeks I observed quietly. I watched how he decided where to plant his seed, the time he took to prepare the soil, the ceremony of planting and then time everyday he would find to be in the company of his seed. The growth of his seed in comparison to the others in the vegetable patch was carefully observed and this led to healthy competition with our children. The celebration of milestones and project work over designing and constructing the best support for the plant. The bugs that were consciously removed from the garden and I even found him playing music to his plant. There were a bountiful of bees attracted to the flowers and you could literally watch the result of pollination as the pea pods started to form. And then what to do with the ripe pea pods before the plant wilted and died.
INTRO TO PROJECT GROW
What I realised by the end of my little experiment was the life cycle of the plant was a symbol of Matt’s journey, his life. The way you tend to it and treat it is the way it will grow and you too.
At each phase he was drawing out life metaphors to help him notice himself and make decisions that mattered. Being in the garden in the company of his plant he was allowing the gift of nature to
reduce his stress levels,
increase his observation skills
helped make conscious decisions
be present in the moment
increase optimism and enjoys waking up
naturally introduce mindfulness
develop compassion and communication
sleep better, reducing insomnia
A year or so ago, long after his plant was composting the earth we were getting ready to go out he paused in a moment and said to me “thank you, you saved my life”.
He had made a wholehearted effort to revive his life because he turned to nature and listened to its wisdom. If there is any one person or company of people you know that needs the life put back in them get in touch because Project GROW is the natural option.